I defended a black transgender and paid the price
This is my full story
This is the hardest story to tell, I’ve been on the run for almost 20 years, but after watching American news for the past few years I felt it was time to tell my story. I was a white-collar criminal a fucking idiot who did some really stupid things, some I really did some I didn’t do but was charged within 2 states. I severed my time was released and was raped once a week by my parole officer, after being raped by prison guards. Yes, I’m a white man. Yes, this is what prison is all about if a white man defends a black or worse a transgender black the punishment is given out to make sure racism lives inside.
Prisons and Parole are full of White Supremacists, today more than 20 years ago.
No one will read this or care, this is just 20 years of pain to get off my chest, so without giving up who I am and where in the world I live, here is the truth.
I grew up on the east coast never had a happy life, my family was screwed up, my mother left when I was 13 my father was a drunk a nice one, but a drunk, for the first 13 years of my life all was good I guess I don’t remember much, we had a house next to my grandfathers, he was a tough man but he taught me that race was something that I should never consider. He built a pool and kids from every race would come over and swim in the summer, so in my earlier years, I never saw anyone by the color of their skin.
When my mother left life went from OK to bad, we had to move from the house to a two-bedroom apartment far from where I grew up, I had a younger brother much younger so never really knew him, my father was drunk all the time out on dates, never home, so I was basically on my own.
I became a minor criminal, hung out with the wrong people, became a good conman, nothing big just stupid crimes, I hated wanted school had the worst algebra teacher, nasty and mean so in the 10th grade I quit, I left home and moved back to where I grew up, lived in stealth over my friend's garage. I tried to stay at my old Chruch an episcopal one until the priest raped me, so ran.
At 17 I joined the military the Reagan years, I liked it but with no education, all I could be was an infantryman, and back then it was all marching, I did join the airborne but I was stationed in the coldest place in the world and I was young and dumb so I went Awol, I moved to a city lower down and less cold, it was party time, coke was just out and I sold some did some and had fun, I became a bad male stripper, got laid a lot. Move to another city lower and less cold and fell in love still love her but I lost her when I was hanging out at a friends hotel and he invited me to spend the night, when of his friends came up to the room and forced me to give him a blow job, the next week I moved back to the lower 48 with an X girlfriend, I really hated her, she once pulled a gun on me. I still think of the one I loved and left all the time.
Oh forgot to say, I was able to change my name, get a driver's license, and life that made things easy, until I screwed things up again. Started smoking Crank so after 6 years I called my father and flew home, the army gave me a discharge and life moved on, remember I am white so I never had to pay for a crime I had committed.
My father had gotten married to a lady who had three kids, my brother had grown up and I was out of place. I work in construction, started a construction company really screwed that up, and move to Florida. Before I moved I got arrested for the first time, don't remember why but I walked away.
I had my real name back, living and working enjoying the life I was still young and I had fun, I broke no laws just lived, then for some reason don’t remember why but with a group went to northern Florida to do a concert series, didn't play just hung out and had fun. I met my first wife, OH my best man was black. She had two kids already it was good for a while but she was a crazy woman, we had our own son and after a while, she freaked out YES I cheated on her, but she cheated on me too, one day she just moved out, FLASHBACK, I freaked out, I got her to come home and I moved back to lower Florida. I wrote some bad checks it was an easy way to get money again, never paid the price.
So far crime didn’t matter I was white and got away with it.
For the first time, I got really arrested, I was living with a girl hot sexy but she became a super Christian, and after the priest, I was done with god, so I went out partied got laid, went home with hickeys all over and got kicked out, so I wrote a bad check got some money and moved in the hickey girl OH she was Mexican looked like Janet Jackson but wild, all was good until one day I was driving and got pulled over and arrested.
Now again nothing bad happened I was released paid a fine and life went on, other than seeing the inside of jail it wasn’t bad. So I wrote more bad checks and moved to California and married the girl, oh I wasn’t divorced I forgot to do that. We had a baby but never really got along, so I met another girl a Filippina with kids and moved in with her, this is where life started to go bad.
I was in my early 30’s and Florida had an arrest warrant for me, I don’t remember how they found out where I was but when they did WOW felt like a million cops showed up, I was arrested and transferred back to Florida via a plane. I was put on probation. I moved my CA girlfriend and kids there and we lived. One day the cops showed up and arrested me for nothing within a few hours I was released. I paid my debt got off probation and still thought I was untouchable.
Now my girlfriend loved to fight I hated it reminded me of my mother, so one day I moved to Georiga. This where my life started to fall apart. I met and moved in with a sexy wild blonde girl, she was a daddy’s girl I never saw what was coming, I got a job, OK lied to get a big powerful job running Asia consulting for a big company, don't ask me how I got it, have no idea. So after having another baby, we moved to Singapore.
I traveled all over Asia had a wild wild wild time, didn’t pay attention to the job, and got fired. We moved back to Georiga I got a job in New York another high-paid job, went back to Asia, and got fired again. We moved to Florida her family lived in the same area as my first wife. Now her family hated black and colored people and when they found that I had once been married to a Mexican her father promised to get me away from his daughter. He was rich a Republican and a radio station owner and wanted to make sure I’d spend the rest of my life in jail, turned out he ran a White Supremacist group.
Now I was a real fuck up and a man who ran when there was trouble, I had made a bunch of mistakes, but none to ruin my life, one day he told me to pay him for the house we were staying at, I hadn't gotten paid yet, but he told me to give him a check he’d hold it. So I did, I had to fly to Asia for real work this time and would be back in a couple of weeks, when I got back she had moved out the house was empty our bank account was empty and I found out there was an arrest warrant for me, for the check to him, I had no car so I rented one and I went around writing bad checks at banks collecting the money, less than $4,000. I took the car to the airport was late for the flight so I dropped the keys in the box and flew to California. Again I’m an idiot, but I went on with life, I met a Chinese girl, fell in love with her, and worked for a tech company.
From bad to worse, I had to go to Asia on business for a week, turned out with no education when I worked I did a great job when I returned I was arrested at the airport, my girlfriend was at my court hearing it broke my heart to see her face, she was so ashamed of me.
I spent 3 months being transported back to Florida, from one jail to another in horrible conditions being told daily when I got there I was going to live long.
I got semi lucky when I got to the jail in Florida, I wrote the judge a great letter and after almost 6 months in jail I was given probation, my grandmother had just died so I had some money, the problem I had is the man who was supposed to end me, told me he wanted me to take care of his girlfriend she would watch over me and I would join his group.
So a guy I’d met in jail in CA and old rich drunk offered to put me and her up in rooms at a hotel he was staying at, so I flew to CA, the girl had all my court documents from Florida with everyone social security numbers on it, unbeknownst to me she stated ordering credit cards in their names, now I had never stolen from a person only a bank, so this was not me.
9–11 happened I remember watching it, couldn’t take my eyes off the TV for days I was in shock when a knock on the door and the police were there.
I was arrested and charged with identity theft, this one I didn’t do but I plead guilty was given 18 months in a California prison, if you’ve never been to one you never want to go, they are so overcrowded and violent.
So most of my 18 months had been spent in county lockup another hell hole, when I got to prison real crime by guards became something you’d see every day, KKK members running the prison. In my 2nd week, I was bunked with a black transgender person a nice person we’d talk a lot and got to know each other, now this was one of the prettiest people you have ever seen, but one of the most hurt people too, every day or so a few guards would come by and take her out of the cell and an hour later they’d bring her back she was being raped by the guards used as a toy.
One day I’d had enough when they came for her I stood up and told them I was going to report them, they laughed and told me it was my turn. I had 1 month left before my release, this month and the 3 months I spent under parole will never leave me, it's taken me 20 years to write this and I’ve never spoken about it to anyone.
The first time, I was beaten so bad I lost sight permanently in my right eye, I was fucked by 3 guards my ass was bleeding, and after I was thrown back in my bunk. This was the best of those days, every day I was either made to suck dick or be pissed on I had things shoved up my ass and told that I was their white nigger. They made my friend watch sometimes other times they did her too.
Shit day, on one day we were brought to a room there were two bowls full of human shit, we were told whoever ate all of it the fastest would be off their list, we took this as we would be left alone if we did it, we both raced to eat. We were both taken back oh and I lost, but it didn’t matter we were both abused daily until my release.
I had moved around from jail to jail sent back to Florida given probation, this time I had a real lawyer, but I still was charged with a car I never stole. I went back to California to do my Parloe and rebuild my life, this is where things went from worse to worst.
My former father in law a leader in White Supremacy had ordered that I be taken care of, his daughter after leaving me had hooked up with a Latino guy and the blame was put on me. I was assigned a Parole officer a leader in a White Power Group and sexual deviate, he like torture and I became his plaything. For 3 months of my life I was being raped and beaten once a week, whenever he had time to visit me, the things he made me do I still can’t speak about.
So one day I ran, now they don’t put out a dragnet for a minor criminal like me, they never as far as I know searched for me, so for a couple of years I lived and worked in Northern California I met a Chinese lady we lived together was building a business when she asked me to go overseas, now I knew I could but also knew I could never return, again I left. I went to China, Hong Kong, Thailand until I finally settled down. All I had was a soon to be expired passport a little money and no fear.
I met a woman and fell for her, we have two great kids, but as they’ve grown up my problems have gotten bad again, money is harder to make with Covid I’m in real debt $100,000 and the kids want to go to America, they know a lot about me I try not to lie but I don’t know how to tell them I can’t go home, I have called a few lawyers none care to help, I have tried to contact politicians none care.
So I spent time researching the Prison system in CA and from what I’ve found it's more White Power than ever, people I’ve spoken to tell me not to come home. I taught of suing for what was done to me, but no lawyer will take the case they are afraid of the Prison system.
So what do I do, I’m about to give up I can’t find a way home, I can’t get any Covid relief money, I can lie and scam people again, so my only choice may be to take my own life, now I’ve told my story after 20 years it is out. What happens next I have no idea.